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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hi-ho Silver!

god. the silver age was great. if for nothing else than the horrifically silly covers to comics. nowadays, you get a pin up or a splash that has NOTHING to do with what's going on inside. its just generic poses so that you can't tell one issue of the book from another--and, since i'm a moron, i end up buying the same comic twice. seriously. its ridiculous.

they also tend towards getting terrible cover artists that the fans seem to like (cause the fans are morons) and confine the interior artist to the interior, while some over hyped shit-weasle gets to ruin my day with another interchangeable cover.

Jim Lee? I'm looking at you. Seriously. Just cut it out man. You're not doing anyone any good. Your covers for Infinite Crisis look like Rob Liefeld puked and then that puke drew the cover. Knock it off. Go back to ruining batman. Go back to drawing lois in a thong. Go back to being a millionaire.

Like this Ian Churchill cover. Sure, it kinda gives you an idea of what's going on in the book, but its just so horribly drawn. Which isn't the worst part, i guess. I mean, I can't draw either. But, fans LOVE this guy, and he gives them this:

Look at her arm. Look at it!!!
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No, on second thought don't.

Feh. Woah. I didn't mean to get off on a rant, there. What I had intended for this blog was a salute to silver age nonsense. Covers with word baloons, dig it? Whatever happened to those. I love em. Not only does it tell a little story right there, but it makes you want to read the book. Sure, its the silver age, so they're all wacky, but still. Cool shit.

here's a couple. check them out.

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Woah. Luthor isn't fucking around. He already drank something that lets him emit radioactive poison, but then he invented something that turns lead into glass? What a frickin' genius. AND he has a space ship. Good for him! Seriously, he deserves to win. But i bet he doesn't.

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What can you do? What CAN'T you do. You're Superman. You can change the course of mighty rivers and leap tall buildings but you can't beat a lie detector? Then here's an idea, don't submit to one. Jackass.

Nice to see that not only the media, but also the US gov't are against you. You know what? Fuck them. Break that dude's pencil neck and leave. The end. Damn.

This one is one of my favorites, though.

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Leaving alone the ridiculousness that IS Elongated Man, you still have this wildly moronic plan by Captain Boomarang to send Flash on a one way trip to the moon.

Yeah. A ONE WAY trip. On a boomarang. Wait. Don't they come back? Wouldn't a guy with "boomarang" in his name KNOW that? How much you wanna bet thats how the story raps up?

Ha! Seems to me he'd be better off if he used ANY OTHER SHAPE but that's just me. I guess Captain Projectile isn't as cool a name. Whatever. Its the Silver Age and I love it. Sue me.


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