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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Soliciting.

I was going through some of the more recent solicits. This is what I found. Yes, I realize i am judging these books by their covers and for that I should be sorry, but, really, I could give a fig. (That was a lot of commas right there... I need some puncutation help from a criminal genius in green tights, but where can i find that?!?)

Sword of Aquaman #41:

There are forty-one of these things already? Jesus. They should stop. Immediately. And appologize to everyone involved. Then they should have to sit facing the corner wearing a funny hat untill they piss themselves and promise to never do it again.


Aquaman #39:

For those keeping score, this is what Aquaman looks like. No beard. No hook-hand. No water-hand. Short hair. Surrounded by fish. Under water. IS THAT SO DIFFICULT?!?

Oh, and his covers should always have word balloons. Do it cause I said. Make me a bicycle, CLOWN!!!


All Star Batman and Robin #5

"Ten and two, ten and two--I'll pass this defensive driving course yet!"

Again, this is still in production? I stopped after issue one. In fact, I stopped around page 7 of the first issue. Its utter crap. If "The Dark Knight Returns" was a person, Frank Miller would've killed it, dug up the coffin and fucked the corpse. Twice. GOD, this sucks.


Ares #4:

I don't care if you have a new take on Ares. Its ARES for jimminy-petes! Who cares?!? Its beyond me how they can decide to make him a major player in the Marvel Universe when they refuse to give someone like Hercules the attention he needs. That guy rules eight days a week. Ares? Not so much. Someone should really give us a fun new Hercules book. Preferrably one where he doesn't get drunk with an unmasked Galactus. I'm looking at you, Dan Slott!


Hmmmm. This column is a lot more snarky than it needs to be. Let me see... anything good coming out soon?


Detective Comics #818

I like this cover. Prolly won't buy this issue, as I don't really buy Batman comics anymore, but hell, this is gonna draw some eyes. Its clean, artistically sound, and a little creepy. Props!

JSA #84

They're finally done with Alex Ross's self indulgent covers? Awesome. What have we here? A giant fight against a silver age villian drawn by George Perez? Shit! Put me down as a "yes please!"

Its just missing word baloons. Something along the lines of "Oh, God! Not YOU?!?" would be terrific. Speaking of which...

Showcase Presents Superman Vs Lex Luthor TPB:

Yeah! Now that's what I'm taking about. Lex Luthor is so smart he can travel through time with the use of punctuation! Crap! He started a sentence when Superman was a boy and finished it 10 years later, all with the use of a carefully placed elipsis. He's my hero. My punctuation hero...

2 Comments:

Anonymous ricKey said...

I have a bet going with Ryan on Auquaman right now. I said it'd suck. He said it'd be good. The wager is a dollar. I've been reading it since Will Pfeifer was on, remember? I'm gonna get that fucking dollar, James.

The Batmas story looks good. Dunno if I'll buy it.

Catwoman? Yeah, that I'll buy. Oh, and Superman looks sweet! Pete Woods? Geoff Johns? AHHHH!

Plus, yeah, Ares can eat my asshole.

12:31 PM

 
Blogger jamawalk said...

I've seen Ryan's collection.

He may just think its good.

2:01 PM

 

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