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Monday, February 27, 2006

Germany Kills Fife!

Okay, that headline is a little misleading. Or a lot misleading, in that its (a) untrue and (b) intentionally designed to mislead you.

The Winter Olympics are over finally. Thank god, that means I can go back to watching television. Germany won. Or rather, they got more medals than we did. Which is good for moral over in Germany, I would think, cause normally when the world comes together to slug it out, Germany is so far in the wrong that they get their ass handed to them and Indiana Jones punches a lot of people.

In the face.

As a gift for winning, we sent over the blondest, blue-est eyed Canadian we could get our hands on (no, not Shatner) and Avril Lavigne closed out the games, singing badly but at the same time making the girls in Prussia Blue believe in their dreams.

I don't see why Germany won, though. Japan had the best skiiers.No matter. Its over now. Its time to move on.

But that wasn't the big news of the weekend. Not for me anyway.

Don Knotts passed away on Saturday. He was really old. And now he's dead.

To many, he was Mr. Furley from Threes Company, listening at the door, ready for a hillariously homophobic quip about Jack's pants.

To many more (including my Dad) he will always be Barney Fife, always reaching for that lone bullet in his shirt pocket.

To Chris Ward (who reminds me more of Don Knotts than anyone else I know, and who is moving away this week--bye dude!) he will be remembered as Mr. Chicken. As in "The Ghost and..."

And some will remember him from his rolls in all them Disney movies, Herbie and Apple Dumpling Gang and the like.

But to me, I'll always remember him in the movie that ruled my youth, "The Incredible Mr. Limpet."Its a movie about a man that becomes a fish during the war and then saves the good guys by destroying submarines and shit.

I think. Its been a while. But when i was 10, and it was on WLVI TV-56, I'd sit glued to the screen. Every time it was on. And it was on a lot. And I never knew how it was gonna end. Ahhhh, youth.

Its the movie that made me belive a fish can wear glasses.

There was also a bunch of shit in there about the female fish finding him attractive, even though on land he was Don Knotts, and a fool, so no chicks dug him... It was weird. What was he gonna do, stay there and have fish babies? Gross!

Anway, thanks Don, thanks Mr. Limpett, so long, dude!

TV Land better make with the Andy Griffith/Three's Company marathons post-haste!!!


Blogger Heidi said...

you're so damn funny, dude.

6:56 PM


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