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Thursday, March 16, 2006

Win a Date with Liefeld!

I make no secret here at Mylar of the fact that I don't care for Rob Liefeld. I make fun of him whenever possible. To paraphrase The Big Lebowski: I don't like his jerkoff name, I don't like his jerkoff face, and I don't like him. Jerkoff.

Which is not to say that making fun of Liefeld is all that difficult. Its not. I know its not. But I do it anyway. Rob's the barrel, the internet is the fish--fish in a barrel. Or something.

Sure, I can go on and on about how terrible Liefeld can be to fans. I can talk about his creative talents and the "properties" he invented at "Awesome!" studios. I could talk about how he was mean to yours truly (Second only in douchebaggery to Billy "The Douche" Tucci). Or, I could take the simplest approach and put up some of his art and we could all goof on the lack of knees and stare at the anatomy until we all go mental.

But I'm not gonna do that today... well, okay, maybe just a quick one. Check this: There are literally NO knees visible in this group shot. Plus, it looks as if Nick Fury's chest is as big as Cap's entire body. That's some heavy bench press regimen he must have. Oh, and someone teach Liefeld how to smoke. Or at least do it in front of him. No one bites down on a cigarette and smokes through their teeth. That's ridiculous.

Ahhhh. Okay, that's out of the way, on to the business at hand. On to this:Who wants to party to the EXTREME?!? I know I sure do. Wait, it involves hanging with Liefeld and a giant Thing--er, I mean, Badrock statue? Huh. That's extreme? Golly. I spotted this up at Scans Daily and just had to goof on it. I mean, its Liefeld, and goofing on him is what I do.

Wow. What a crazy extreme guy he is. He has a statue that he jumps on top of! What a wild card! He wears jeans to work! He is rad!

"Say What?"

You heard me.

Seems this is from an old Wizard Magazine contest where, to celebrate Rob's "momentous" return to comics one lucky kid and his friend get to go to California and hang out with Liefeld himself. This led me to ask three questions:

1. When did Liefeld leave comics?

2. Why did he come back?

3. How can we make him leave again?

Anyone? Suggestions? I'm sure the winner of the contest, at least, would've had to ask something along those lines. I mean, any reasonably bright adult would surely have some tough questions for Rob, not the least of which being, "What does a knee look like?"

Problem is, adults weren't permitted to enter. Just kids. Check out the fine print:

So they want two minors to fly to LA, where they will get to meet Rob, get some food, and do things like going to Disneyland. Oh, you're not actually going to Disneyland. You're going to don one of those creepy masks pictured on the rules page, finish the pencils on Youngblood #2 and then dust Liefeld's life-size Badrock statue while he commiserates with Satan as thanks for the deal he made that gave him a career. That's kind of like going to Disneyland.

From a certain perspective.


Blogger Jim said...

Rob Liefeld ran over my dog. Then he laughed and told his buddies that it was an ugly dog anyway. He's a bastard.

11:54 AM

Blogger Brian W said...

And he steals gullible interns' sketchbooks at conventions without ever letting them see how he'd draw Kitty Pride.

4:01 AM

Blogger Eli Reusch said...

I can't believe what a giant douche this guy is:

10:41 AM


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