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Monday, April 10, 2006

Hal Jordan: Pervert

In my last post, I brought to everyone's attention the opening of Infinite Crisis #6. Specifically the ridiculous baseball conversation between Hal and Ollie.

At the time, I was using this simply as a backdoor method of making fun of Yankees, Yankees fans and Hal Jordan in general, all the while lamenting the poor choices of my once favorite Lantern and introducing the world to my new favorite. A Monkey Bear named Voz.

Over the weekend, however, discussions on this page and its significance have led me to a new theory.

(NOTE: You may wanna send the kids out of the room for this one. I'm going to use the word splooge. While I'm not sure that it is a swearword, its definitely vulgar and decidedly juvenile. You've been warned.)

Staring out into space, facing down millions and millions of Earth's being fused together and blowing up and making a huge apocalyptic mess of things, Hal Jordan is thinking about baseball?Why? Well why do most men think about baseball? Or, rather, what is that old cliché about thinking about baseball?

See where I'm going with this? The possible destruction of life the universe and everything has gotten Hal Jordan hot. So hot in fact that if he doesn't stop and think about baseball, he's gonna splooge in his pants. Yes. Hal Jordan is a crazy sex pervert who gets off on watching infinite earths crash into each other as their populations die screaming.

Are we SURE he's not Paralax anymore?

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